1

why are you so anxious to try and change him into something other than what he is? sounds like you need to take a look at what you really have and then decide if that's what you want. he's not supportive, is rude and makes you feel uncomfortable. does that sound like material for a life partner? if so there is no need to do anything, you have exactly what you need. if not you need to move on. think of the example being set for your child, you should be respected in your own home, don't you think?

2

It's gotta be hard for you to make transition into a mother, and having a partner like that doesn't help much. You need more support. If he can't provide it, look for it from friends and family.

But what can you do to TRY to make things better? Nothing. If he's not trying, then your attempt will not be effective.

What you can do right now is focus on yourself and your child. You say you want to lose weight, now it's time to start and try. Join WW, or read books, find groups (free ones are available) that meet around your area and make friends, go exercise (there are so many sports group available).

IGNORE his rude comments (what an immature person to do that!), and find a support network OUTSIDE of his circle (preferably go to your family) and get help/ask for help to start losing weight.
Indulge your time as mommy when your babe is still a year old too, it's a much better time (get as much nap as you can! 2 years old is worse!! )

Regarding your bf:

He may start viewing you differently too, hence his defensiveness, it sounds like he doesn't view you as a lover but more like a mother. (An annoying one at that, remember how you're a teenager and your mom questions where you are and you get annoyed thinking how annoying/nosy your mom is and how you can take care of yourself?)
Don't be surprised if he started to get less interested in sex (most guys don't want to sleep with a "mother").
It's going to be hard to go back to the days where you're his lover.
You can pull back a little though, try not to question where he's going all the time, be busy yourself (go out with your friends outside him) but do make him do his duty as a dad as often as possible.
If things don't work out, please tell him you want to co-parent and co-exist nicely/decently with each other so ask him for the sake of your child to be a more present parent as well.

Good luck to you and feel free to e-mail me privately too. I'm a mom myself, my son's 2 years old. It's not always rosy between me and hubby too.

3

Youve been together 3 years, have a baby together and yall arent married yet? Seems like he isnt interested in really having an adult, mature relationship. Im married now- but I would never have considered having a child with someone I didnt want to be married to. I dont really get that mentality of, "I dont want to marry you but ill have kids with you"

I think you should look into WW to try to drop some of the weight and help boost your self esteem, they have Mommy and Me meetings- so you wont feel bad about bringing a baby in with you and you could make some new friends who are also moms and understand what you are going through. Good luck

4

I really agree with "nevaeh1978" above. Please listen to her advice. She's 100% correct and when you focus on yourself and become the person you really want to be and he sees you try, at least it's a start. Don't be the Mother! Be the LOVER with a baby - don't let the fact that you have a child change who you used to be. Some of the hottest women today have kids, but they still work on themselves to maintain sex appeal. Guys (especially my husband) will always desire deep down to be your first baby (they won't admit that - but trust me they feel it). Did you know that most men actually are jealous of the nurturing that the infant receives from you??? It's true! So the baby gets all the affection because most Moms forget that our Husbands need it too. So they resort to other ways of dealing with their frustrations - like going out all of the time. Do new things to make him feel like he's not missing anything by going out. Candle lit Bubble baths, play with his hair when your watching the TV together, don't ever scold him like he's your son, always make him feel like he's doing good things...Positive affirmations - you get more with sugar than you do with salt. Also, love yourself first (junk food will kill you - just like cigarettes). If you don't love yourself first, how can he love you?